How to Completely Alienate Yourself From Everyone

Thursday, July 26, 2007

1. First, be extremely opinionated in coversation - to the degree that you begin to insult others who don't agree with you.

2. Then be offensive and ask complete strangers questions about their personal life. Personal questions, mind you.

3. Then offend the people who know you by asking THEM personal questions in areas you know are sensitive.

4. Be rude and arrogant by always making the other party the cause of the argument. NEVER admit to being a part of the problem.

5. Be intellectually offensive by making lofty comments about others nationality, sexual prefence and religion. Adopt a smirking, preachy, self-righteous attitude. Impose it on others.

6. Refuse to go away until the anger dies down. Stay in their face, constantly pestering and being underfoot.

7. Then apologize profusely at every chance you get. Don't stop apologizing, keep going until they are extremely annoyed, and keep an "I don't understand" attitude at all times. Play dumb!

If successful, even people who agree with your opinions will hate you, and yes, your very own friends will recant and reject you, in an attempt to distance themselves from you.

Now, you will be alone to pity yourself in peace.

- a bitter recrimination from said "Old Journal"

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